The Sad State of My Beloved Washington Redskins

By | March 10, 2017
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HTTD writer Patrick Rice lets his current feelings be known, about his beloved — and totally dysfunctional — Washington Redskins.

Dear Redskins,

You are an embarrassment. A total failure.

You remind me of that scene in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, when Clarke freaks out over his boss not handing out yearly bonuses.

That is exactly how I feel about Dan Snyder and Bruce Allen.

Never — even during the darkest Vinny Cerrato hours — did I imagine that the Washington Redskins could make me hate them. Make me loathe and detest the team I love.

But that’s where we are today, one day after Bruce Allen fired (former) General Manager Scot McCloughan on Thursday evening.

There is so much to this story that I am not sure where to begin. But, I believe it’s best that we start by going back in time.

In January of 2015, the Redskins were a disaster — sounds familiar? — and hired a successful GM with a history of drinking problems. Finally, we all thought, the ‘Skins were making a reasonable move to build their franchise the right way.

McCloughan was credited with building the core of the San Francisco 49ers and Seattle Seahawks teams that went to Super Bowls. For the Redskins to acquire such a football guy, it was practically a dream, though this tortured fan base was still a bit too scared and skeptical to believe.

It took tweets like this from ESPN’s Ed Werder to give us real hope:

That one statement delivered real hope to Redskins fans, for the first time since Joe Gibbs returned to the team in January of 2004.

Along the way, the Redskins actually started making intelligent decisions.

Kirk Cousins was named the starter. They stuck with their plan of building through the draft, taking an unsexy offensive lineman – who went to the Pro Bowl in his second year – with their first round pick. They avoided free agent spending sprees. Finally, it seemed as if they
were actually committed to winning.

The result? Only the best two-year stretch in two decades. Back to Back winning seasons. An NFC East Title. Quiet, non-newsworthy offseasons – the type of thing(s) you’d expect from franchises poised to truly build something.

Then, in the blink of an eye, it all blew up, in an all-too-familiar sequence of self-destruction.

First, it was former Redskins tight end Chris Cooley stating on ESPN980 – the radio station owned by the Redskins – that Scot McCloughan was drinking again. A slanderous statement like this, made towards the man who brought this franchise the first modicum of respectability since the early 1990’s, should have immediately been addressed by the team.

It was ignored. And depending on who you believe, the story might actually have been planted by Bruce Allen himself, or just one of his paid cronies.

Most of you following along know how the rest of this story goes. So, the only thing I can say is….

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, WASHINGTON??????

[Here comes the rant].

I never thought I would be so pissed off at this team. Will I watch them come week 1? Unfortunately. I cannot quit this team. Every bone in my body wants to completely boycott, but as Andy Pollin tweeted:

Damn you, Andy. You are so effin’ right. I won’t go antiquing. I’m hooked to a team that is pathetic, and run by Boers and Bernstein. Terrifying.

Speaking of clowns: what the hell has Bruce Allen done to deserve his job? He’s a daddy’s boy who coasts on his father’s legacy, and his brother’s political clout. He is Vinny Cerrato 2.0, who just happens to have a long history with the team and Virginia.

This dunce once famously bragged that the Redskins were “winning off the field” and honestly believed this was an accomplishment.

You think Washington is “winning off the field.” Bruce? We are not winning anywhere because you are an asshat.

McCloughan never wanted credit for the team “winning off the field,” or on it. He wanted to watch film, draft his ‘football players’ and get in a defensive stance to compete with his players. Bottom line: he was the perfect football guy.

There’s a reason the fan base created t-shirts that read ‘In Scot We Trust’. We believed he could change this fumbling franchise — and he did. Except, it was all undone because of a petty team president that was jealous someone was better at this job than Allen was.

Snyder and Allen have taken the innocent love of my childhood and ruined it. Other fan bases have snickered at the continued bumbling of the Redskins for 20+ years. But I always believed there would be a day we broke through, when we could finally get over this imaginary hump.

I mean, all Snyder cares about is “winning,” right?

But, alas, that is total bullshit, too. After the first two consecutive winning seasons under Snyder’s ownership, McCloughan is gone, and we’re left with the two biggest idiots in Washington (see what I did there?).

In the most important time of the year for General Managers, and for a team that was a few defensive upgrades away from being a playoff contender, Washington now finds itself without it’s football ace.

Mike Jones of the Washington Post said it best:

So here we are. Without a GM. Without Hope. With a furious fan base that is on the brink of an unprecedented mutiny.

Perhaps it’s time to abandon ship. Or maybe we should stick it out, because that’s what real fans do. The bottom line, though, is this franchise will never figure it out, and I am not sure how much more of this I can take.

As Clarke Griswold once said: “hallelujah and holy shit. Where is the Tylenol?

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