Hail To The District writer Dash Kannan is back, providing his predictions and thoughts for each game on the slate for Week 3 of the 2016 NFL season.
Started off my first week of picks going .500. So, I hit more on these picks than I do on Tinder. On to Week 3.
Week 3 Lines and Picks
Houston Texans at New England Patriots (+1): Don’t bet against Bill Belicheck in any situation. Ever. That man could sell sand to a nomad in the desert. (editor’s note: pick submitted before yesterday evening’s game).
Washington Redskins at New York Giants (-4.5): The Redskins have usually played like chumps against the Giants in the meadowlands, but after last week’s redemption game, this week, Jay Gruden is coaching for his damn job. If the Redskins go to 0-3… nah, let’s not even think that. Redskins cover and possibly win to keep the season alive.
Denver Broncos at Cincinnati Bengals (-3): The Broncos lose their first game of the year as Trevor Simien gets outplayed by the red rooster.
Oakland Raiders at Tennessee Titans (-1.5): A pretty competent Tennessee defense has kept the Titans in game. Now, it’s up to Marcus Mariota to outplay Derek Carr. He won’t.
Arizona Cardinals at Buffalo Bills (+4): I expect the Cardinals to win, but this game will be close. Rex Ryan is coaching for his job right now and this would be a statement game.
Baltimore Ravens at Jacksonville Jaguars (+1): Gus Bradley — another guy who’s coaching for this job — will have to win this game. An 0-3 start could mean he’s fired… this week.
Cleveland Browns at Miami Dolphins (-9.5): The Browns come into this game with rookie Cody Kessler starting at quarterback and Corey Coleman sitting after he broke his hand. The Dolphins will win this game, but 9.5 points is a lot… especially for a Dolphins team that has been largely unimpressive itself.
Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers (-7.5): Once again, the Packers should win this game, though Aaron Rodgers will have to overcome the ineptness of his running game and his coaching staff too. But, Detroit isn’t half bad. They’ll be able to stay close.
Minnesota Vikings at Carolina Panthers (-7): No Adrian Peterson for the Sam Bradford-commandeered Vikings, who looked good in beating the Packers. But Carolina isn’t Green Bay. They’re much, much, much better. Don’t expect the loss of Jonathan Stewart to keep the Panthers down — Cameron Artis-Payne is just as talented.
San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks (-9.5): Take the 49ers because they’re playing a team that has scored a combined 13 points in two games… and lost to the Rams. Final Score: 12-6.
Los Angeles Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-5.5): The Rams head back on the road and save their fans the trouble and the eye sore of watching them play… and also make sure they don’t have to pay that $100 LA Parking fee.
Pittsburgh Steelers at Philadelphia Eagles (+3.5): The Steelers just have too much firepower for the Eagles as Carson Wentz suffers his first loss as a pro.
New York Jets at Kansas City Chiefs (-3): With the future of Jamaal Charles as uncertain as it is, Alex Smith is going to have to make plays if the Chiefs would like to return to the playoffs this season. This team needs a major jolt offensively, but it won’t happen this week.
San Diego Chargers at Indianapolis Colts (-3): This is the toughest game of the week to pick. The Colts are expected to be division winners and the Chargers were expected to be a bottom-five team… but the one difference between the two teams is that San Diego actually plays like it wants to win. Take the Colts, but Old Man Rivers is going to go out swinging.
Chicago Bears at Dallas Cowboys (-7): I’m just waiting for Dak Prescott to look like a rookie. While it may never happen, seven points is a lot… even if it’s against the Bears.
Last Week: 8-8